John Cowan
“I came that you might have life and have it more abundantly.” Jesus of Nazareth
Lanny and I sat quietly on a high hill in our front yard looking over the sunset. Suddenly the world appeared —a bright and beautiful world. Only much later did I find words for it. (I was 10 and he was 6) Perhaps we had discovered the Kingdom of God that Jesus had promised. But we were little boys, not given to theological thinking or reading. This memory drifted off into the slipstream of life, but a wisp of it not completely lost. Persisting. “Do it again please.”
Is the kingdom promised by Jesus physical or spiritual? Jesus spoke Aramaic. In Aramaic there is no such distinction. For example “breath” and “spirit” are the same word. The speaker may mean either or both. The Kingdom announced by Jesus in Aramaic can be both spiritual and physical, therefore accessible physically. If we notice Jesus healing ritual, Jesus not only says words but insists on touching the person being healed.
Around age thirty I started being trained by National Training Laboratories. (T Groups) Although the teachers never said so, I was struck by how the intimacy and openness, starting from zero creates the kingdom, feelings of love, intimacy. Not only people but even things appeared bright and beautiful. However, I found that the sense of kingdom faded rather quickly after the session closed. It had been a group phenome. Needed the group support. Needed the touches.
These were secular contexts. I attended the 2016 Quaker Yearly Gathering hoping that five 3 hour Quaker Meetings for Worship over five days might create the Kingdom experience. For me it did. and for many others it appeared to. No mention was made of the Jesus promise, although it was clear that most of us expected some dramatic change, and while personal change was expected by all and occurred for many, no directions, or teaching for continued growth were provided. We lived in the Kingdom then, never identified it as “living in the Kingdom,” and after leaving the conference, left the Kingdom in a very short while, as usual.
I tried to initiate something at Twin City Friends: Two hour experiments of five sessions. Did not work! Several reasons. The most compelling reason: people have lives. The reason Jesus did not like families, they interfere with the Kingdom.
In silence the ego diffuses. The Kingdom appears.
Even without mention of the curative effect of silence, even the gabbiest of Quakers has to quiet self during the most pedestrian of meetings. The Kingdom has been waiting, not to be, but to be seen. Even without pious intent, silence allows the realization that our busy ego has wasted our time as it absorbed our awareness.
“We study the self to know the self. We know the self to forget the self. We forget the self and learn from the ten thousand things.” Dogen (Zen tradition.)(“self”=”ego”)
When we become silent all the ego sourced noise running around in our head eventually becomes obvious, and, perhaps in shame, it grinds to a halt. Without the racing around, space opens for reality to be seen by our central being, awareness. We can observe reality with clarity. Then change for the better is not difficult, it is necessary and obvious.
Where do we find this internal “observer? The traditional exercise for self-discovery in some traditions:
Become aware of a person across the room, are you that person? Anything you can be aware of is not your deepest being. Now become aware of your hand. Again, not the essential you. Can you become aware of the eyes allowing the outside world into your awareness? Then you are not the eyes. You are the awareness. (William Blake said, “See through the eyes, not with them.) You are awareness,
To use the silence very well, train yourself so that you are holding reality with deep awareness and your ego is stilled on the sidelines.
Sit meditation knowing you are awareness itself. View the sunset from awareness, your deepest being. Your awareness makes the dull, brilliant. To be exact it allows what appeared dull to shine with the brilliance your ego blocked.
This may be the Kingdom of God Jesus had in mind. This is the abundant life. It is not a miracle. Two little boys sitting on a hillside in North Minneapolis could find it accidentally. And lose it easily. And then regain it under the right stimulus and lose it again in the ordinary tumult of life.
“Walk in beauty”(Navajo Blessing, Valediction, State.)
“We were never cast out of Eden. We merely turned from it and shut our eyes. To return and be welcomed, cleansed and redeemed, we are only obliged to look.” Margaret Renki